Breaking Glass
by Kaz Gemcity
Summary: What happens when Neal spirals down into the dark place.
1. The Window

**_A/N- I will continue this if you guys want me to. If it sucks please let me know, because I have been mad busy, and haven't slept for more than three hours at a time in a couple of days, so I am a little loopy. Hence my writing may suck. Please let me know. Thanks, I hope you all like it. Blah blah blah, you know the drill. A little oddity here though, if I do continue it will just be a series of one-shots not a full-out story. Okay, thanks for reading this randomness. Love you all._**

**_I think it's time we see the violent, spiraling-down-into-the-dark-place side of Neal. (Thank you Mozzie!)_**

Neal needed this. He needed the satisfaction of hearing the glass shatter around him. He needed to see the sun shining off the broken shards.

_I've moved past Kate._

_I have to move on._

Neal couldn't get his own words out of his head. He wanted so much to believe it himself. But he couldn't. It was true that he had moved on, it was true that he'd moved past. But it was more true that she would always be a part of him.

Which was why Neal needed to punch his hand through the window. It was simple stress relief. There was no other way around it. Something needed to break and this was the only way to stop it from being his mind.

As blood flowed down his fingers and stained the sleeves of his suit, stress flowed free from Neal's head. It was a painful way to relieve pain. An oxymoron if ever there was one. But it was true.

And Neal did everything he could to hide this part of himself from Peter. He kept the mask in place and his hid his feelings. He lived in the dark place only behind his eyes.


	2. The Mirror

**_A/N- As promised. . . Another chapter. Let me first just say that I am listening to "A Chorus Line" for the first time. It came up on my Genius list for "Next To Normal" so I said 'What the hell?' And I really like it._**

**_I have decided that I will continue this, in a series of four, counting this first one, looks into the dark side of Neal. I don't think we see enough, or even read enough of that part of him. Its true we know he has pain, but we never see his reaction to this aspect of himself. And I like the idea of him appearing perfect, but having the dirty little secret that we all try to hide. He's just better at it than ud._**

**_And yes, in sticking with the title, there will be breaking glass in each part. That is the only hint you are getting. I hope you like._**

Neal pulled the jacket of his light gray suit on over his crisp white shirt. Grabbing his hat he looked in the mirror. Though there was a smile on his face, his eyes were empty.

It had been one of those nights, and it showed in the artwork he had tried to create.

Torn canvas littered the floor in the small apartment. Bits of chipped, dried clay were scattered across the floor. It was unusual for Neal for his space to be in such disarray. But what could he say? It was one of those nights.

Just the thought of the darkness that engulfed him when he was alone sent a shutter through Neal. He could see the darkness showing in his eyes. The pain shone through his baby-blues.

Not giving himself time to think, Neal slammed his hand into the mirror. The sliver glass shattered around his hand.

New cuts appeared, criss-crossing with ones from times past. Pink and red blended, until all Neal could see was the blood absorbing into his crisp, white shirt, and covering his arm.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Neal knew that he would have to change before going to work. And that if he didn't do it soon he was going to be late. But that was the small part of his thoughts.

The majority of his thoughts were centered on how much better he felt now. The pain could only be relieved through pain. One for another. It was a trade, like energy. 'E-one equals E-two' he remembered his physics teacher would say.

'Pain equals pain.'

It was so simple. Let the darkness flow out through the blood. The body was easier to heal than the mind.


End file.
